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I'm so afraid, I felt cold, I felt I'm not going to make it, I'm in a total lost now. This ain't emo-ing. When I saw people who born in a rich family, I felt envy, just envy. Because most of those guys wont learn what poor child know, usually kids that born in a not-so-good- family will grow earlier in mind which we called mature. Usually poor kids got a bigger dream, better attitude, greater ambition. That's why I never think to blame since this is FAIR.
But when I saw someone who born in a rich family with a pair of great parents, great siblings, great family background, loyal in religion, enjoyment that a rich people should have, but yet they still know what is a real friendship, kindness, being honest, everything that a great people should have.
Their life are so perfect, problem they met just some quarrel with friends, some kind of piece of cake stuff and they can still enjoy their life as how i dream to.
I lost my calm, I felt a burning fire growing and eating my mind up, I felt...Jealous.
That is a big big different between jealous and envy. I wish I can just envy them, but things forced me so hard, sometimes I face the problem that make me breathless enough to create the thought to end my life. But on the other side, sad and begging voice are pulling me, “Don't give up, give another try, I know u can make it!" But no one really F*cking CARE how tired am I !!!
What for to train me, what for to make me learn in a hard way, what for to force me, what for to torture me since I can't even saw in vision what am i really going to be in that STUPID MORON FUTURE!!!
I wish someone could take me away, brain-wash me, recreate my new identity. TAKE AWAY MY PAIN SO I DON'T HAVE TO BEAR THOSE HOPES, DREAM, AMBITION, BURDEN, RESPONSIBILITY, SELF CONFIDENCE, FAITH ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!
DON'T F*CKING ASK ME TO CRY IF I'M DOWN, THAT'S NOT WHAT I NEED!
I NEED A SOLUTION, I NEED SOMEONE TO SAVE ME! I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHEN IS THE DAY I'M GOING MAD, AND I DON'T WANT TO LOST MYSELF!
SAVE ME!
CURE ME!
I'M SO HURT, I FELT SO LONELY, I FELT SO SCARE, I'M SO LOST LIKE MY SOUL IS IN CHAOS.
LOOK AT ME!
AM I REALLY WORTH STAY IN THIS EARTH WHICH IS MEANINGFUL TO SOMEBODY ELSE ?!
SCREW THE WORLD!
MY FATE IS SO F*CKING UNFAIR!
1 comments:
Louis.^^
you know...im from an "ok" family, have "ok" life and i tin i hav "ok" attitude, behaviour and thinking..my life's jz ok...
may b for sum others, they will think i possesed everthing good in me or around me or almost perfect..but then i always feel myself unperfect at all..yea, nobody is perfect..however, i envy those who has so much different experience in their life, born in a poor family, a gangster before they know God, a very disobedient teenage and so on.. dunno why i envy them.. Cz i ALWAYS think that those who live in a very suffer life before will sure becum a GREAT and SUCCESSFUL man in future..cz they experienced lotz of things..pain, sorrows, hardship, feeling lost, lonely, a big hole inside their heart, fear or wadever..and also sum joy n sweet memories which are the only memories they will cherished and kept forever.. may be those you think almost perfect do have "suffered" before? hmm..ya, there are many kinds of human in the EARTH..n yea,there are reli lots of almost perfect ppl in this world n may b sum of them reli no need to put much effort to achieve sth.. there are too many good, nice,great ppl outhere.. but if we always compare ourself with them, we will feel tired eventually.. everyone wan success, wad we can do is challege ourself, compete with ourself, set those ppl as our example..
Dun rush.. learn and learn and learn.. From a survey, it said that a normal person can only achieve 4 Great dreams one year.. so dun set too much once haha.. i deeply beliv u can n u will success one day..ur life is different from others, u are different from others, u can make it.. keep ur passion on.. rest when u're tired..keep walking after u hav enuf rest..dun giv up pls.. u almost reach there..^^V
p/s: There's a great story behind every successful man^^
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