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I'm so afraid, I felt cold, I felt I'm not going to make it, I'm in a total lost now. This ain't emo-ing. When I saw people who born in a rich family, I felt envy, just envy. Because most of those guys wont learn what poor child know, usually kids that born in a not-so-good- family will grow earlier in mind which we called mature. Usually poor kids got a bigger dream, better attitude, greater ambition. That's why I never think to blame since this is FAIR.
But when I saw someone who born in a rich family with a pair of great parents, great siblings, great family background, loyal in religion, enjoyment that a rich people should have, but yet they still know what is a real friendship, kindness, being honest, everything that a great people should have.
Their life are so perfect, problem they met just some quarrel with friends, some kind of piece of cake stuff and they can still enjoy their life as how i dream to.
I lost my calm, I felt a burning fire growing and eating my mind up, I felt...Jealous.
That is a big big different between jealous and envy. I wish I can just envy them, but things forced me so hard, sometimes I face the problem that make me breathless enough to create the thought to end my life. But on the other side, sad and begging voice are pulling me, “Don't give up, give another try, I know u can make it!" But no one really F*cking CARE how tired am I !!!
What for to train me, what for to make me learn in a hard way, what for to force me, what for to torture me since I can't even saw in vision what am i really going to be in that STUPID MORON FUTURE!!!
I wish someone could take me away, brain-wash me, recreate my new identity. TAKE AWAY MY PAIN SO I DON'T HAVE TO BEAR THOSE HOPES, DREAM, AMBITION, BURDEN, RESPONSIBILITY, SELF CONFIDENCE, FAITH ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!
DON'T F*CKING ASK ME TO CRY IF I'M DOWN, THAT'S NOT WHAT I NEED!
I NEED A SOLUTION, I NEED SOMEONE TO SAVE ME! I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHEN IS THE DAY I'M GOING MAD, AND I DON'T WANT TO LOST MYSELF!
SAVE ME!
CURE ME!
I'M SO HURT, I FELT SO LONELY, I FELT SO SCARE, I'M SO LOST LIKE MY SOUL IS IN CHAOS.
LOOK AT ME!
AM I REALLY WORTH STAY IN THIS EARTH WHICH IS MEANINGFUL TO SOMEBODY ELSE ?!
SCREW THE WORLD!
MY FATE IS SO F*CKING UNFAIR!
