Unique? Think again.

I'm young, but i'm different. Everyone is unique, and that's true. But no one really know how unique is everyone just because not everyone thinking really deep about this, and this makes everyone become just like everyone. Funny, huh?
I'm not the one who facing the worst scene in the world but at least i'm not the one who given up.
And this does'nt mean my faith never shaken before. It was so exhausting. Dream was something so far away from me. Give up was something seems to be the only choice to make. Well i'm a tough cookies since I met with lots of problem since I'm a kid. I'm not talking about friends took my girls away, 100 bucks stolen by people, how to chase after a girl, how many A's i've failed. It is something way bigger than these. But the moment I drop my tears with all my best way to stop it, I found that I'm so weak, I'm just everyone, there is not even a little differenence, just because I drop my tears on the photo I smile with my friends, my siblings, my dear lovely mom. I hate to be weak.

Someone said, be tough. Well, what a good saying. Tell me, what else can u do when things come to the "no choice" level. Yes, be tough. She did it =] and i hope i'm the next one.

I love to read people's blog but not because of latest news of her/him. It is because I can know someone better or know what is really going on in this world, I can even learn =]. But some emo blog makes me down :( . I mean if you're going to support someone when he/she is down, you have to understand what is exactly happening on him/her right ?

Too bad, this world is too big *sigh* ~ Regrets and lost is happening everyday. I can't take care everybody that I want too, or I should say I can't even solve my own problem. Yea, it's sounds stupid.

I wish someday I could be selfish, I only care what my desire want. I could really take care a girl, my own career, and future, that's all and happy ending. I'm still way too far from a genleMAN for a girl (believe me, i know that =]). But since my life is too complicated or too hard for someone to get it through with me, the hope is just....tiny.

Sometimes I'm just too boring because when I let out my voice, it is always start with "everyone" or "someone"...it is never being anything about myself. May be I'll get tired someday, somehow I'm going to let it go easily, someday :)

Someday.

Tear's Journey

I'm tired, I'm out of tears. Hence, rain pour down from the sky, through the thinner lower clouds, solid skyscrapers, dying pine trees, dirty roof, closed windows and drop on my face with vestige of your fingerprint, and i heard " Here's your tear my dear. -----By Me

Wondering

Wondering, everyone just know how it feels like and i dont really hope it exist in my brain, wondering makes me down, feeling lost and blue, too much thing just happened like it has to be. In my life, from what i can see now, i dont really know what is going up or on my life. I read something from my friend's email and i found there is some word that is like...for me. "My life is not going to be flat since it is my fate". It is so worse now and i would think " Where is that future-caring me ? Future? Screw it, it ruins my life since i chose to chase after it so damn hard until i almost lost everything that i should appreciate and love.

Peoples always say " Be optimistic ~ "
I worked very hard on this subject and of course i failed more than i could thought.
See the better side of a problem would make things easier, but after i've gone through all those failure , i'm not sure that whether i learnt a new definition of optimistic or i'm just...tired. So, what's the new definition ? Since optimistic is a concept that minimize the view of problem or sadness and maximize or amplify the better side of the problem, does it looks like escaping or cheating yourself from the problem? Well, i'm not saying that everyone should be pessimistic but... Well, optimistic dont really works for everyone, especially me or may be actually i'm just judging from what i saw. I prefer stay calm and steady, or may be i should say i think being optimistic just not sounds good and logic enough to change thing, everything, may it is because i'm fed up already. When you're really tired or giving up after thousand tried to be optimistic, and u're still failed, you will taste desperation and faithless more than before u try to be optimistic. There is a chinese proverb suit this kind of condition "The higher u climb, the harder u fall" . The source of optimistic is FAITH and HOPE.When things come to an end, decision is a must and being steady and logic is not enough for us to decide what is the best for everyone. Since i'm not good enough in being optimistic, so i keep myself cool on another way, stay steady. But if u or me can handle it both well enough, it will works out perfectly.

There is lots of optimistic story from our friends by email to encourage people, like i said, optimistic doesn't work for everyone. But it works in every very world ending moment. For an example, there is a story about love between couple and how optimistic saved a life. They separate and work in different city, one day, earth quake occurred in girl's city and that girl is trapped under collapsed building. The boy is on his way coming to that city and find the girl on his swore. There is no food or water under that collapsed building, but that girl survived for 5 days without water.
Yes, it is optimistic's handwork. The boy want that girl to be safe and okay so badly till he hope he is the one who trapped inside. He can get in touch with the girl through phone and of course he know there is no charger for the girl. He only contact with her via sms and told the girl to switch on her phone to check sms every 4 hours. Every message that send by the boy is full of warmth of love and touch of hope. It is all about their future, their 1st document to sign is their marriage certificate, their 1st traveling plan will happen in new zealand, their 1st baby is gonna be a cute girl or a handsome boy, their everything. Every time reaper is standing next to the girl, the girl ignored the existence of him. The only thing that the girl thirst for is not water, it is their forever love, whenever darkness is going to swallow the girl, what she saw is not the moonlight nor sunlight that passing through that little suture but the light and flame of hope. One hour by another hour, starving and thirst is killing that girl but there is something big is waiting her. Faith stop starving from torturing the girl, hope stop thirst to kill the breath of the girl. Finally boy found girl staying strong under the solid collapsed building with tears, and as usual, everything ends perfectly. Logic and steady might bring u some skills and idea, but when everything come to an end, not every time or every condition could be control by just a simple logic. Could logic keeps ur breath unstoppable ? Logic only tell you how things work and how things fail with what u can see and judge. Faith and hope makes u extraordinary, they fight every single piece of NEGATIVITY.

I don't want to make a long or boring conclusion. Stay strong and faithful every time, yea u hear me, EVERY TIME u met problem. If u don't practice it well, somehow, it will be difficult when problem getting harder and serious, and u will find it is so hard to back into optimistic world. I'm one of the best example of all. Do it before u get numb.