Fate and Fair.

I'm so afraid, I felt cold, I felt I'm not going to make it, I'm in a total lost now. This ain't emo-ing. When I saw people who born in a rich family, I felt envy, just envy. Because most of those guys wont learn what poor child know, usually kids that born in a not-so-good- family will grow earlier in mind which we called mature. Usually poor kids got a bigger dream, better attitude, greater ambition. That's why I never think to blame since this is FAIR.
But when I saw someone who born in a rich family with a pair of great parents, great siblings, great family background, loyal in religion, enjoyment that a rich people should have, but yet they still know what is a real friendship, kindness, being honest, everything that a great people should have.
Their life are so perfect, problem they met just some quarrel with friends, some kind of piece of cake stuff and they can still enjoy their life as how i dream to.
I lost my calm, I felt a burning fire growing and eating my mind up, I felt...Jealous.
That is a big big different between jealous and envy. I wish I can just envy them, but things forced me so hard, sometimes I face the problem that make me breathless enough to create the thought to end my life. But on the other side, sad and begging voice are pulling me, “Don't give up, give another try, I know u can make it!" But no one really F*cking CARE how tired am I !!!
What for to train me, what for to make me learn in a hard way, what for to force me, what for to torture me since I can't even saw in vision what am i really going to be in that STUPID MORON FUTURE!!!
I wish someone could take me away, brain-wash me, recreate my new identity. TAKE AWAY MY PAIN SO I DON'T HAVE TO BEAR THOSE HOPES, DREAM, AMBITION, BURDEN, RESPONSIBILITY, SELF CONFIDENCE, FAITH ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!
DON'T F*CKING ASK ME TO CRY IF I'M DOWN, THAT'S NOT WHAT I NEED!
I NEED A SOLUTION, I NEED SOMEONE TO SAVE ME! I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHEN IS THE DAY I'M GOING MAD, AND I DON'T WANT TO LOST MYSELF!

SAVE ME!
CURE ME!

I'M SO HURT, I FELT SO LONELY, I FELT SO SCARE, I'M SO LOST LIKE MY SOUL IS IN CHAOS.

LOOK AT ME!
AM I REALLY WORTH STAY IN THIS EARTH WHICH IS MEANINGFUL TO SOMEBODY ELSE ?!
SCREW THE WORLD!
MY FATE IS SO F*CKING UNFAIR!

不要爱上我.

是不是 我们都太冲动
压抑不了寂寞
这样的关系到底算什么
我竟然会感动
相信你会为爱往前冲
而我没有把握
暧昧的关系到底算什么
好怕你爱上我
怕你爱上我
不要爱上我
我眼眶的泪 闪烁在美丽的黑夜
却无能为力
怕你在上我
不要爱上我
我给的不多 请你原谅我的脆弱
让你我 拥有自由

是不是 我们都太冲动
压抑不了寂寞
这样的关系到底算什么
我竟然被感动
相信你会为爱往前冲
而我没有把握
暧昧的关系 到底算什么
好怕你 爱上我
怕你爱上我
不要爱上我
我眼眶的泪 闪烁在美丽的黑夜
却无能为力
怕你爱上我
不要爱上我
我给的不多 请你原谅我的脆弱
让你我 拥有自由

=D thx whitey.

Lots and lots of things happened recently.
Whitey asked, mind to share share ?
xD Well, if those were good news, why not?
My wishlist won't be any harder than anyone.
Because there is only one wish.
I wish
No matter who you are, where you are, what are you doing.
Don't care whether you are the one I like or not.
I wish the best bless to you all.
Why?
This is not the "I'm the kind and almighty" speech.
Simple.
Since I couldn't turn my life into any better.
Since I shouldn't give up in my life even it is tougher than I could bear.
Since I have no way to find my happiness.
And I know I should appreciate my life, be cheerful.
So how do I get happy?
As long as everyone I care is happy =].
And I mean you, you and you too.

I did it my way =D

Tiny and short diary of few important momment.

Latest Me, 2009 Dec 08 4.36 A.M. Working super duper hard on my Job Plan Preview =].
Soon I'll have a training for my partner and I'm so so nervous ! Well of course i mean i'm excited too ~ The Credit Card-Look alike card that I'm holding is actually my company main product~
Cheers and happy money earning to me ~!



Interior preview of CocoBanana ~! Have fun and go crazy everyone !



Drinking coke at Cola Club located in Setapak. I love the glass, thin and clear =]



Captured when I'm walking to market (1)



Captured when i'm walking to market (2)



Tourist, photographer, kids, family, sunshine, pavilion =]



Clear sky through window .



Busy and rush hour at 5pm.



6 A.M. Finally i done my job as a cashier for last day.



These random pics...i have no idea how to say it briefly...they could mean a lot to me...may be they represent my emotion, memories and...someone =]

Good morning world. I won't just fail. Mark my word.

MTL SUCKS~!

Well well well, here I am again.
I'm going to expose a secret !
Ya, you better watch it. MAGGIE TASTY LITE SUCKS!
= = Actually they can just call it Maggie Lite isn't it ? What for you add a "tasty" word when it is really worse than a porridge with salty egg.
Yes, it is really pure and lite, without msg, less salt. But it is taste like Maggie + Water + Pepper + little salt. Holy crap, and I can't believe that i finished it !!!!!! [May be i'm just starving]
Ok, no more MTL.

What is RM9 KB? PD? PM? PC?
Well they are just "ke le fe" in the picture...but I'm going to introduce them anyway.
RM9 KB which is a RM 9 Keyboard that serve me for a year and it's A-Z word faded away.
PD? Haha, this is a little bit lame, PenDrive.
PM? Philip Mouse, favorite, smooth, light, glossy design.
PC? Poker Card. Training some card trick lately >< Still a noobie. Another take 3
3 2 1
Good Morning to everyone =]

= =

I guess i really have to spend some time on my blog.
>< It's too boring since nothing is really worth to read.
My bad. But still, I appreciate the people who been here.
Be a tough cookies louis~ u can do it~

Unique? Think again.

I'm young, but i'm different. Everyone is unique, and that's true. But no one really know how unique is everyone just because not everyone thinking really deep about this, and this makes everyone become just like everyone. Funny, huh?
I'm not the one who facing the worst scene in the world but at least i'm not the one who given up.
And this does'nt mean my faith never shaken before. It was so exhausting. Dream was something so far away from me. Give up was something seems to be the only choice to make. Well i'm a tough cookies since I met with lots of problem since I'm a kid. I'm not talking about friends took my girls away, 100 bucks stolen by people, how to chase after a girl, how many A's i've failed. It is something way bigger than these. But the moment I drop my tears with all my best way to stop it, I found that I'm so weak, I'm just everyone, there is not even a little differenence, just because I drop my tears on the photo I smile with my friends, my siblings, my dear lovely mom. I hate to be weak.

Someone said, be tough. Well, what a good saying. Tell me, what else can u do when things come to the "no choice" level. Yes, be tough. She did it =] and i hope i'm the next one.

I love to read people's blog but not because of latest news of her/him. It is because I can know someone better or know what is really going on in this world, I can even learn =]. But some emo blog makes me down :( . I mean if you're going to support someone when he/she is down, you have to understand what is exactly happening on him/her right ?

Too bad, this world is too big *sigh* ~ Regrets and lost is happening everyday. I can't take care everybody that I want too, or I should say I can't even solve my own problem. Yea, it's sounds stupid.

I wish someday I could be selfish, I only care what my desire want. I could really take care a girl, my own career, and future, that's all and happy ending. I'm still way too far from a genleMAN for a girl (believe me, i know that =]). But since my life is too complicated or too hard for someone to get it through with me, the hope is just....tiny.

Sometimes I'm just too boring because when I let out my voice, it is always start with "everyone" or "someone"...it is never being anything about myself. May be I'll get tired someday, somehow I'm going to let it go easily, someday :)

Someday.